So, this image pretty much captures my heart today. Okay, truth be told, I am actually writing this on Sunday, the day before my little boy starts school for the first time outside of our home, because I know come Monday morning I will be a complete wreck.

Since my 4 year old made the decision to go to a conventional preschool, I really have been trying to steady my heart for the changes that are coming for us as a family and for our son. (I tucked him in for the last time Saturday night as a “little boy” not having to wake up for school!)

I think (or at least I hope!) that my mind has had enough years of study, training, and teaching experience to know that “going to preschool” is a normal progression in a child’s development, but once I became a Mama, all that theory and practicum went right out the window. There is nothing that can prepare you for the feeling of handing your child over to that person behind the big desk. There just isn’t.

You pray that the school you send your kiddos to is up to par with academics, safety, teacher training, and the like.

You pray that the teacher your child gets has the same heart for children that he or she did as when they first started their teaching career, and does not see the children as “students” passing through on an educational assembly line.

You pray that the teacher can see how truly special and loved your child is.

You pray that the teacher would show the same softness and nurturing as you do at home.

You just pray.

And then? You let go. And I think tears are a completely natural part of that process. It’s what we as parents are meant to do, this leaving and coming back, until the leaving is finally permanent.  ♥  Already a wreck.

UPDATE: I made it through the whole morning tear and freak-out free! I packed his little backpack, made his lunch, took photos and everything! It wasn’t until I was driving back home after dropping him off that I broke down. I saw a garbage truck and just felt so completely sad that he was missing ‘trash’ day and watching the trucks come through the neighborhood, his favorite thing in the world. Which then led to an even bigger meltdown at home with hubby where I worried we had made the right decision. The second day was effortless though! Ha!

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